Someone else remembers a time, long ago, long, when you could enjoy just of things?
You could watch a movie and enjoy on every single scene analysis to ensure that there is nothing offensive remotely to this topic.
You could have a favorite character and like them and appreciate how they were written and portrayed, without being told you’re terrible, because they have a villain. Even if they are fictional and probably have been deliberately written to be friendly. (Even if they were written as a bad character, I still think that you have a right for the love, but it’s maybe just me)
You could love and be a fan of actors without going full on the FBI agent, looking into their origins to ensure that are perfect at 100% and never ever made a mistake.
You can edit on the said actor without some busybody (all also thankfully) small fandom cop, crawling in your Inbox for you say your favorite is “problematic” (God, I fucking hate that Word), and you’re disgusting if you still love them.
I’m in my thirties so I remember those good old days and it’s a little sad to know, that most of you will never really know how it was. This is a time long forgotten. Bad luck.
Yes, I remember that.
You know what I also remember?
How one of my friends was still awkwardly quiet after that the rest of his group of friends laughed a ‘no homo’ set up the joke. How he never laughed along when someone has used “gay” to describe something. I remember telling people who don’t laugh that ‘ this is a joke, what’s wrong with you?
I also remember, almost a decade after, crying, fortunately, the love of his life, he married who was being a man.
I remember laughing at a racist joke in a movie with my cousins and her black one, her best friend friend, up and leaving because of it. I remember nodding along as she said Ugh, “she can never take a joke.”
I remember asking my cousin on her years later and learning that they never talked about it after that. Ten years of friendship lost this night there.
I remember sitting in a room filled with Guy friends, make sexist jokes and be told I was too cool to not be as tense as the “other girls”. I remember that slowly losing his luster and I wondered why I felt more comfortable than.
And then I remember who I was at the time, and how I am so happy that I’m this person.
I remember the first time I apologized for my gay friends for jokes that I used to do. I remember the first time that I did not try to defend how I “does not mean being racist.” I remember the first time I’ve asked a dude just what is the problem with ‘other girls’, and how I lost a few friends that day that I realized were never really friends.
You know what has changed? I’ve changed. Through listening and understand and accept my privileges and flaws, I changed. Now even if I try, I can’t just enjoy something that jokes at the expense of others. I can’t look at someone who is really problematic in the media.
I can’t enjoy these things because I realize now that their very existence hurts. That the very existence of this type of media perpetuates behaviours and ideologies that can lead to people abused, harassed and murdered.
And you know what? It’s a good thing. Because more people who refuse to ingest this type of media, less public, there, and the message that gets these things–racism, homophobia, sexism, transphobia, etc – are not things to be shaken off the coast. You are not angry or cool for them ignorant. You are not “stuck” by being upset by them. These are real things, with a very real social impact.
The reality is, there was never a moment where everyone could just enjoy things. To be able to say that you have had this time is to recognize the privilege that you do not have to think about problem behaviour because it has not negatively affected your life.
I don’t remember a time where I could ‘ just enjoy things. What I remember is the time where I could enjoy something by throwing all those who could be hurt by or suffer under the bus.
I remember those moments in my life. And I’m so fucking thankful that they are in the past.
YES. Thank you for this clear.